I know for a fact that being a loner sheep is not wise, the wolf can easily gets you. Sheep should be in a group, mat saleh kabo mende, a herd? A herd of sheep. 

Being alone can gets you in a never ending endless spiral of negative thoughts. And you can’t seem to stop it. And that’s what im in right now. So i am thinking writing this may help me gather it.

The thoughts of ifs. If I did it like this, or like that. What will happen if im not here right now, what if you are here right now. What if that accident didn’t happened? What if?

It takes me a lot of strength to be aware and see that these are negative thoughts. Because I never know what will happen in the future, nor what will happen if I made different decisions in my life. All those consequences following my life choices are not in my control. May Allah always guide me to make right decisions in my life. 

I really need you right now to say all those things that i already know. 

I know tak baik kata macam ni, macam tak redha dengan apa Tuhan takdirkan. Patutnya kena lebih banyak bersyukur dengan apa Tuhan bagi. Ulanglah ayat Tuhan takkan beban kita dengan apa yang kita tak mampu, Tuhan Maha Mengetahui, Tuhan yang Maha Baik. Ulanglah sejuta kali pun, because i need to hear that from other people. 

I promised myself I wont cry anymore but guess tonight is one of the exception. 🤭

War within me yang paling besar sekali dalam hidup saya sekarang. To see good things in what I considered as ‘bad’. To feel enough with what I currently have. To please God the way He pleases. 

To be brave. 

Oklah. Dah habis nangis. 😂😂